The Mirage Called “There” – Living in the Present

As I’ve worked diligently this last year and a half towards realizing some major dreams and goals, there have been days when I’ve become so frustrated with this place called “here” that I didn’t think I could wait another minute to get “there.”

You know about “there”; the “promised land”-the perfect place where the problems of today magically disappear.

“There” is the new job; “there” is losing those last twenty pounds; “there” is the wedding ring.

Whatever your “there” is -for most folk-it can’t arrive soon enough.

Unfortunately, some of us have become so consumed with “there” that we’ve started to neglect “here.” In doing so, “here” has become the grass that we haven’t watered, but are intent on comparing to the lush green blades on the other side of the fence.

Are you taking care of “here?” Because if you aren’t you will NEVER get “there.”

Worse, if you allow your “here” to fall apart, you’ll be more susceptible to latch onto a distorted and ill-conceived “there.” Like that woman on your job who you think looks soooo much better than your wife-she’s so sweet and sexy. And your wife has taken to wearing over sized t-shirts and is too tired after work and caring for the kids to tend to your needs.

Well, when was the last time you took your wife out on a date; when was the last time you lifted some of the pressure off her by cleaning up the kitchen or doing a load of laundry; when was the last time you told her you still think she’s beautiful?

I’ll tell you a secret: that “grass” on your job has to be mowed and watered too or it will grow weeds, turn brown and start dying just like your marriage. A wise man I know has a saying, “All grass has to be cut.”

Are you tending to your own yard? Are you taking care of “here?” Or are you so focused on “there” that “here” is falling apart.

The last couple of months I’ve been yearning for “there.” So much so, I wasn’t enjoying “here” very much. I was so focused on the future that I was dropping the ball on a lot of the stuff in my present. Then I realized if I wasn’t careful, I might end up sacrificing my “here” in the quest to get “there” –and that’s too high a price to pay.

In our glorification of “there,” we often ignore the fact that the place called “there” will have problems and challenges of its own. In this state of mental delusion, we convince ourselves that “there” is our “happily ever after”.

How many people left “here” to move into their dream house; a Mac-Mansion with more space than they could ever use and which now has become an albatross around their necks with a huge mortgage payment, soaring utility bills, and high maintenance requirements.

The truth is, “there” is a mirage. As we travel through life there will always be problems we’ll have to face; challenges we’ll have to meet; another “there” to strive for. That’s why you have to “enjoy the journey.” That’s why you have to enjoy the place called “here.”

“Here” is where we’re at and even though we may not realize it, there’s often something that we have to learn, accomplish, or complete before we’re ready to move from “here” to “there.”

I’ve learned to accept the fact that getting “there” is a process and the only way to it is through “here”. So I’ve been working on looking for the pleasure in “here.” I’ve been working on trying to savor each step of my journey-even the frustrating ones.

Yesterday morning as I was headed out to work, I just laughed when my three year old son -in giving his mommy a hug and kiss–smeared jelly all over my freshly washed and ironed shirt. I thought to myself: when I get “there” he won’t be three anymore; when I get “there” I may have to beg for a hug and a kiss.

In our quest for the perfect “there,” we must remember that “here” is a gift; that’s why we call it “the present.”

Comments are closed.